If you’ve been following my posts, you’d know that I met Sheila Kelley, actress and founder of the S Factor.

She is amazing!  She is beautiful and brilliant.  She’s inspiring and sexy.  Our conversation was so awesome that I have fodder for about 10 posts.

One subject that struck me deeply was how to raise our daughters into confident women.  Especially into women who loves their bodies and embrace their femininity.

I told her about a post I wrote a month or so ago in which I promoted the advice of Lisa Bloom (Weekend Observations: Should We Compliment Little Girls on Their Beauty?).  Bloom had written a piece about controlling our urge to immediately compliment little girls on their beauty when we first meet them.  We should, instead, talk to them about more intellectual things like books.  She argued that when little girls get such positive feedback for their beauty, they begin to believe that their looks are their most important source of currency.

In my post I agreed with Bloom.

But Sheila has now set me straight.

Of course we should embrace the many different sides of girls.  But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t ALSO compliment them on their beauty.  In fact, we should instill a sense of confidence and ownership of our girls’ beauty.  We shouldn’t ignore or downplay it but rather teach them how to live with it with pride and love.

This makes total sense.

Being beautiful isn’t shameful.  So why should beauty be downplayed versus other characteristics?  It’s certainly not MORE important than other aspects of their personalities, but if we ignore their beauty or push it to the side our girls won’t know how to handle it.  They may feel it’s not worthwhile.  Or, as they age, they may not have the ability deal maturely and confidently with the positive attention they eventually do receive from others.

I look forward to raising Laila into a well-rounded, beautiful woman who loves ALL aspects of herself, including her body.

Thank you Sheila.

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