About month ago I spoke in front of a mix of clients. I wore an outfit that I realized may not be perfect for my bod camera-wise but is still kinda cool. The top is a black leather, peplum top. It’s both cute and a bit of rock-n’-roll, and I’ve received quite a few compliments on it.
But it also screwed me in a way. I tend to be a passionate speaker, sometimes I’m even called intense. Well, for a few of the folks in the audience, this shirt lent a vibe that made me seem über aggressive and even “angry.” Huh?
I never, ever expected someone to criticize me for sounding angry. I can certainly list many other unflattering descriptions of myself on stage — frenetic, hyper, aloof. But angry? Never have I heard that. And frankly, this description really upset me. I know there were probably other factors that may contributed to this impression. I’ve been known to be seen as very “New York-y” but people from middle America. But the shirt was cited as a key to this impression.
Ugh, I know I can never make everyone happy — or at least that’s what all the coaches to me. But it still hurts.
I also wonder whether being a woman played a role in this harsh description. And I certainly have no intention of changing that feature :).
All I can say is I have to learn from all these incidents. I can’t change but I can be more aware. And more importantly, I can be that much more self-assured that I am who I am, and be proud that I’m one of the people who isn’t just sitting on the sidelines criticising but the among those who risk the slurs and get out there.
