Weekend Observations: Lovin’ the Journey


In San Fran Having a Great Time with Colleagues

“It’s not about the end point but the getting there that’s important.”

“It’s the journey not the end that matters.”

“Enjoy the ride.”

Blah, blah, blah. How many times have we heard these trite statements.  I’m not denying their veracity.  I’m just sick of hearing them.

And yet, I have to admit, I’m applying them to my life at this very moment.

You see I’ve been traveling for work A LOT.  And its been great.  In fact, I had TOO much of a good time.  Amidst intense periods of work, I’ve indulged in lots of great food, lots of alcohol, lots of partying, and oh, yeah, very LITTLE exercising.

So you can imagine the result: I’ve turned into quite a pudge-ster.

Of course, I’m not going to stand for this.  I like my body a good 10 lbs lighter (plus I can’t fit into my clothes, yikes!).  I intend to lose the weight.  But my attitude towards this process is different from all the other times I’ve gotten into this state.

First, when I’ve gained a bit too much weight in the past, it’s usually because of stress and overall unhappiness.  But this time it’s different. I’ve gained weight because of great experiences.  The pudginess doesn’t remind me of shitty moments but rather the opposite.  So I’m changing my approach towards getting back in shape.  I’m not going to stay at this weight but I’m going to enjoy all the different stages my body goes through to achieve my desired weight.  In other words, I’m going to enjoy the journey.

How?  Well, right now, my boobs are bigger which isn’t a terrible thing and I can wear some of my old outfits that I put aside a few years ago when I dropped a lot of weight.  And as I lose weight, I’ll enjoy wearing my different bras (I have many for each size).

There’s no doubt I’ll be psyched once I get back to normal.  And I’m sure going to reward myself with a new outfit (or two ;))  But I’m not going to stress myself along the way, but instead play up how I look.

Wish me luck!


Weekend Observations: What Sheila Kelley Taught Me

If you’ve been following my posts, you’d know that I met Sheila Kelley, actress and founder of the S Factor.

She is amazing!  She is beautiful and brilliant.  She’s inspiring and sexy.  Our conversation was so awesome that I have fodder for about 10 posts.

One subject that struck me deeply was how to raise our daughters into confident women.  Especially into women who loves their bodies and embrace their femininity.

I told her about a post I wrote a month or so ago in which I promoted the advice of Lisa Bloom (Weekend Observations: Should We Compliment Little Girls on Their Beauty?).  Bloom had written a piece about controlling our urge to immediately compliment little girls on their beauty when we first meet them.  We should, instead, talk to them about more intellectual things like books.  She argued that when little girls get such positive feedback for their beauty, they begin to believe that their looks are their most important source of currency.

In my post I agreed with Bloom.

But Sheila has now set me straight.

Of course we should embrace the many different sides of girls.  But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t ALSO compliment them on their beauty.  In fact, we should instill a sense of confidence and ownership of our girls’ beauty.  We shouldn’t ignore or downplay it but rather teach them how to live with it with pride and love.

This makes total sense.

Being beautiful isn’t shameful.  So why should beauty be downplayed versus other characteristics?  It’s certainly not MORE important than other aspects of their personalities, but if we ignore their beauty or push it to the side our girls won’t know how to handle it.  They may feel it’s not worthwhile.  Or, as they age, they may not have the ability deal maturely and confidently with the positive attention they eventually do receive from others.

I look forward to raising Laila into a well-rounded, beautiful woman who loves ALL aspects of herself, including her body.

Thank you Sheila.