Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know about all the brouhaha surrounding Ashton and Demi‘s rocky marriage.  And of course the tabloids and blogs love to jump on poor Demi’s insecurity over her beauty.

Case in point, a buddy of mine sent me an article from a local Connecticut paper, entitled “Rethinking Beauty In the Age of Agelessness” bemoaning Demi’s extensive beauty regime to appear young given her marriage’s 15 year age gap.  She’s so desperate to look 15 years younger but her hubby cheated on her anyway.

The piece uses the Demi/Ashton story as a lesson for all older women.  That is, stop trying so hard to look good for your man b/c he’ll cheat anyway and spend your time/effort on “better” things.

Wait a second.

First of all, who’s to say that women are spending efforts beautifying JUST to land/keep a man?  I personally love to look good for a variety reasons: seduce my man, yes, but also to look hip for work, to feel creative, to pamper myself, and more!  And in the case of Demi, whether we like it or not, she has to be camera-ready all the time.  It’s her job.  It’s how she pays for her kid’s college education.

Second of all, I’m so sick of the argument that beautification is not as worthy a pursuit as other activities.  Of course if we have a choice to save a life or put on lipstick, we would choose the former (sorry to be so extreme).  But if those other “worthwhile” pursuits include hobbies, intellectual experiences, travel, whatever, I still don’t think beautification is “less important.”  As I’ve written in the past, caring for our bodies connects us with them, thereby making us not only more aware of our bodies’ needs but also helping us feel more emotionally fit and whole.

Let Demi be.  And for that matter, let women beautify how they want, when they want and don’t assume its an act of desperation.

Comment or tweet me your thoughts @beautyskew

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